hate Archives - Gerry Lynch: Priest, Writer, Photographer

Preached at Christ Church, Worton; Holy Cross, Seend; and Christ Church, Bulkington

Philemon 1–21; Luke 14. 25-33

“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children … cannot be my disciple.”

So, should you really hate your Mum because Jesus told you to?

As a priest, one sometimes gets invited into intimate and difficult bits of people’s lives. Most of that work isn’t appropriate to talk about in front of others, even in private, but you’ll not be surprised to learn that not every family is a happy one. Sure, every family has unhappy aspects and difficult dynamics, yours and mine and everyone else’s, but some are much more difficult than others. Despite that, it’s exceptionally rare to find people who actually hate their mothers, and when one does, it’s quite an unsettling experience. And as for people who hate their children, well that’s what we have social services for!

A classical painting depicting a biblical scene with Jesus at the center, dressed in a red and green robe, surrounded by several figures including disciples and a crowd. He is shown interacting with children, one of whom offers a basket of bread or fruit. A small white dog stands nearby. The crowd, composed of men, women, and children in colorful robes and head coverings, is gathered around, some reaching out or sitting on the ground. — Christ Preaching to the Multitudes by Follower of Tintoretto, late 16th Century.

In fact, the Ten Commandments tell us to honour our Father and Mother. So what is Jesus playing at here? Is this just a bit of hyperbole, saying things that are completely over the top to grab our attention? We should never forget the Gospels are full of examples of Jesus cracking jokes, teasing people, and being sarcastic.

So is what this reading is about, then? When Jesus says you need to give up everything to follow Him, is it actually all exaggerated and sarcastic, so He doesn’t really mean you have to give up absolutely everything, but maybe quite a lot of stuff? Maybe you need to be ready to hate your mother but only if she’s standing between you and following Jesus, or something like that?

I’ve heard that sort of sermon preached on this passage and…? I mean, OK, I suppose… It just feels a bit flat to tell you that Jesus’ message here is to give up lots of things to follow Him but not actually everything because He was just exaggerating to keep the crowd interested. Frankly, that interpretation leaves me wondering why Jesus of Nazareth, one of history’s great public communicators, had such a bad day at the office. It’s like watching Lionel Messi miss a penalty or something.